Maa

This one is about my mother. I have wanted to write about her since my wedding, simply because, that's when I realised that our lives were following similar paths, literally too. Here's how.

By virtue of marriage, I moved from Basavanagudi to Malleswaram in Bangalore, just like my mother had. 

As I walked the streets, soaking in the old world charm, I wondered what she felt as a new bride. I went to the same Hopcoms for vegetables, to the same Coffee Works for my filter coffee powder, to the same Ganesha temple tucked away at the dead end of a road, smelling the same scents from the ancient trees, trying to gather it all in. It was as if I was retracing her steps. And, it felt good. 

Like my mother, I too moved cities because of my husband's job and now understand how hard it must have been. There were no luxuries like Movers and Packers, or company-paid hotel stay for weeks together until you set up your house. But she never complained, was always cheerful and made our home a happy place. Yet, here I was, complaining about lizards entering the house and kitchens without enough cupboards and stuff like that! Mom held everything together even in places where snakes were a common sight during the rains.

She was a great friend to many a people and enjoyed conversations with people of all ages. She loved having people over for lunches, dinners and breakfast even! I once had my friends over for a Masala Dosa breakfast. It was a sudden decision since yoga class got cancelled and I wanted to make good use of the morning; one friend was unwell and she was so happy to have been invited unexpectedly and fed that she twice said, 'I bless you for this’. I then knew why it gave my mom so much joy always. I called her and told her that I was able to do a bit of what she always does for others and how happy I felt. She just smiled. So many lessons to recognise from what we have grown up seeing everyday.

In Durjoy Dutta’s “Our Impossible Love”, the protagonist Aisha's mother tells her constantly to find herself as a woman, to find her strength and most importantly, to not just be like her. And Aisha tries, with all her might. Only to understand that her mother is strong, resilient and loving beyond words and she then knows what she  wants to be. She wants to be her mother. 

My mother too said similar things to me, aspire to do more, be more, do not let your life slip away while you are busy doing the mundane. Now, 4 months after losing her, I get what she taught without ever saying it. Be kind, gentle, loving, generous and forgiving. It continues to illuminate the lives of your loved ones long after you are gone.

I want to be her.